


How to Seduce a Pirate

by Veggie_chips



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Attempted Seduction, Detective!Mari, Detectives, Eventual Smut, Honeypot, M/M, Pirate!Victor, Pirates, Porn With Plot, Prostitue!Yuuri, Seduction, boys who love ballet, pimp!phichit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23492341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veggie_chips/pseuds/Veggie_chips
Summary: Mari needs help to catch a tricky lead, a lead that happens to be a notorious pirate captain. Her only chance is to ask for help from her little brother and asks him to do something she never wanted to ask of him.Yuuri loves his sister, so he won't say no to seducing a pirate. The real problem is, what makes Mari think he knows how to seduce a pirate?(Mari is a detective for hire, Victor is a pirate with a soft spot, and Yuuri is not a prostitute but...)
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	How to Seduce a Pirate

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, this is was supposed to be a one-shot but it was sitting in my drafts so long I though it was time to just publish it. Let me know if you like it, so I can motivate myself to finish the other half.

Hatsetsu, Japan to the outside eye is a lovely ocean side town filled with comfort and culture. Which wasn’t untrue by any means: it was home to historical castles, ornate theatres, and relaxing hot springs. However the locals there knew another truth about Hatsetsu; it had an underbelly of crime that had been just as prominent as it’s zen outer shell since the town’s founding. 

Mari Katsuki never minded that fact. The way she saw it, Hatsetsu's dark side was good for business. It’s probably not the best attitude for a private eye, but was she wrong? Best part was, since she wasn’t an officer of the law there was nothing stopping her from visiting the seedy parts of town to fish up information. Yep, she had it pretty good. That is until one seemingly ordinary job came her way.

The story itself was a premise she dealt with all too often. An upper class woman was expecting a very important shipment of priceless family heirlooms from across the sea. Until she received the unfortunate news that the cargo ship carrying her valuables had been pillaged. 

For the local police, pirates were somewhat of a lost cause. They have neither the resources or time to have a wild goose chase through the seas, cause the thing about pirates is that there are so many of them that it’s almost impossible to track one down. That is, if you don’t know the right people. Luckily, Mari knew everyone. So, when piracy came up the police would discreetly suggest that the victim go to her. 

The wealthy women had paid Mari a large sum to find her heirlooms and bring them back. No big deal, Mari got this kind of case so often that it really only takes two steps. First step, find the Pirate’s vice. Every thief had one: drinking, gambling, sex. All of which can be found at The Cove: a hidden harbor just north of Hatsetsu that was frequented by all kinds of criminals. 

It was a wonderland where you could sell your illegal merchandise or order a prostitute only a few feet away from where you dock your boat. Mari would stop by, find what the culprit’s poison was, and there you are bound to find someone desperate enough to snitch them out. Once all the information she needed was found the easy part’s over. Step two, is when Mari has to decide if the best way of action is stealing back the merchandise, blackmailing the culprit, or just breaking down and buying it back. 

Usually this whole process would take about four days to complete, but this current job -for some reason- wasn’t working as smooth. 

It’s been six days and Mari is still on step one! She’s pulled all the stops, she bribed all The Cove’s bartenders to no avail. Then she stopped by all the back alley games -craps, blackjack, even domino's- yet, no dice. Finally, she stopped by the red light district where one of her largest contacts works, Phichit, a pimp who employs the majority of the girls there. Phichit has never let her down, he has dirt on even the most careful of crooks. Yet, when she inquired about the pirate she heard the same thing she had been hearing for days.

“Sorry, that guy’s a mystery.”

“Ugh,” Mari felt ready to pull out her hair.

“Calm down, hun.” Phichit rubbed Mari’s shoulder, “I’ve never seen you so frustrated.”

“Is he even here? I’ve never heard of a pirate who could resist The Cove and all it’s….” Mari gestured to around her trying not to say ‘filth’ or anything that would offend Phichit, “..Temptation.”

“Oh, he’s here alright.” Phichit crossed his arms, “I wish he wasn’t. He’s alway strutting around like he’s better than us. My girls work hard, what does he do? Drive a big boat around and play cap-”

“Wait! You’ve seen him? What does he look like?”

“Oh, you don’t know? Gosh, he must be elusive. Usually when you come to me you’ve already got a guy’s number, address, and mother’s maiden name.” Mari was too tense to acknowledge his joke, “Fine, fine. He’s got a silver head of hair, pale skin, real attractive, young, but a horrible attitude.”

“How so?” Phichit scoffed at this question.

“I’ll tell you how so. First night he came here, I introduced him to one of my girls for free, you know cause he’s new in town, and he practically pushed her away. Who does that? There are definitely more polite ways to decline a gift. That’s the last time I show him any courtesy.” 

Mari reflected to herself for a moment. There is no way a man whose career was crime became a saint when it came to his hobbies. Mari could convince herself that maybe he didn’t want to spend money, but Phichit gave him a deal. Phichit’s girls were nice girls, and Phichit was a good guy…. for a pimp. It made no sense to Mari. What kind of pirate doesn’t even enjoy the fun parts of being a criminal! 

Then it hit her.

“Do you think maybe he would want to buy a male companion instead?”  
“Oh,” Phichit mouthed, “That option honestly slipped my mind, I haven’t had a male employee for so long.” 

“Why not?”

“You don’t know?” Phichit said this as if Mari was well versed in pimp-politics, “A new guy came around here a couple years back. His business grew exceptionally fast, so much so, that we almost had a bit of a turf war. I really didn’t want that to go down, my job is to keep my girls safe and I can’t really do that if I have a rivalry going on. 

“So we made a deal that we would share the same turf, but I employ girls and he employs boys. That way we aren’t direct competition.”

“Hmm,” Was all Mari said in reply. 

“That’s not a good noise, that means you got something risky for me.” 

“Well…,” Mari finally had a way out of this slump, “What if I had someone pretend to be working for you and you introduced them.” 

“Shit….” Phichit took a big sigh, “For you? Why not. Fine, but if Chris finds out you gotta help fish me out.”

“Chris?”

“The other pimp- don’t worry about it. Just bring me someone, and a bit of cash for my trouble, then I’ll make them up all pretty. Ohhhh! How about your hot brother, he could do it! He would fit in real well.”

“No, no, no. I would never ask Yuuri to do that.”

____________

“Hey, um, Yuuri. I gotta ask you to do something.” 

Mari really didn’t want to ask her baby brother to seduce a pirate. Mari never thought she would have to ask her brother to seduce a pirate. Infact, when she started this job she never thought she would ask anyone to seduce a pirate. God, her usual system was easier than this mess. 

This case has made Mari so desperate. She has a reputation to keep, and her client knows it. She has been bothering Mari all week for progress, but she has none. Mari tried some other options, looking into finding some of his crew members, but all she found were drunks trying to impress other drunks by saying they worked for him. Not to mention Mari didn’t charge by the hour, so spending so much time on this one was hurting her income. 

Mari didn’t think it would be easy to find someone to do this job, but she didn’t think it would be this hard. She asked a few friends of hers, all of which understandably declined. Then she turned to hired help, all of which were threatened by either the pirate or the prostitute aspect. 

Finally she found a guy, one Jean-Jacques Leroy. He had no undercover experience, but all the unjustified confidence to make an attempt. Sadly, when she brought him to Phichit he shut it down by saying out right ‘Bring me something I can work with.’. 

Pirates don’t stay in port forever, so if Mari didn’t find someone soon she might miss her chance. And that’s how she ended up doing what she really did not want to do. 

“What is it, Mari?” Her brother asked.

“Are you busy, I can come back later?” 

She couldn’t do this. It's her baby brother, he is too pure for this world. What would happen if he got hurt? 

“No, I’m not busy. What’s up?” 

Shit, but he’s the only option left. Plus, it’s not like he had to sleep with this guy. He just had to sweet talk him, get some information from him. Yuuri could do that, he was a dancer by trade at one of the local theatres and his looks reflected it. He had very pretty features, any pirate would be lucky to be conned by her brother. Which is a weird thought to have. 

“Well, I’m afraid I’m a little…. Stuck on case right now and..” Mari fidgeted with the pack of cigarettes in her coat pocket. She was planning on cutting down, but this conversation was worse than the whooping cough that smoking could give her. “And I might need your help.”

“Sure, how can I help?” This poor kid, so eager. Mari wondered if he would hate her when this was over. 

____________

“Here it is,” Yuuri watched as Mari gestured towards a run down tavern. He had never been in the cove before, even if his sister had such a weird fondness for it -that she would never admit. Yuuri always imagined it as a filthy port with crates on fire and shady people with trench coats waiting down every alley. So he really shouldn’t have been surprised when that was exactly what it was. The only thing different from his imagination and reality was that his fantasy left out the smell of fresh vomit. 

“Huh…. So how do you know this..” Yuuri realized he didn’t even know the name of the pimp his sister was taking him to. 

“You remember that kid that used to live across from us when you were in middle school?”

“Yuuko?”

“No, the one that moved after two years.”

“Phichit?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Yuuri hadn’t seen Phichit since they were kids, he assumed he had moved somewhere else safer and became a musician or something. The context of this conversation would suggest something way worse. 

Mari never answered Yuuri’s first question, just led him into the tavern and had him take a seat on a bar stool at the end of the room. She told him to stay put and he did. Yuuri loved his sister and he would do anything for her, sure this was not something he thought was in his brotherly duties, but he would do it. If he could. He probably couldn’t. Seriously, why is he qualified? What the hell is happening? 

“Yuuri!” 

“Phichit!” Where have you been? Why am I here? What the fuck? All valid questions he could be asking but instead, “How are you?”

“Oh couldn’t complain, but It’s so nice to see you again. Even under such circumstances.” Why did that make it sound like someone was gonna die? A new, but still valid thought popping into Yuuri’s head. 

“Oh there you are Phi.” Mari said, all too nonchalant as she came back with a drink in hand.

“Day drinking are we Mari?” Phichit teased, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“No, not for me.” She placed the mug of oddly warm beer in Yuuri's hands. 

Yuuri will be honest, this whole situation is making him a bit nervous. So he took a slow gulp of that beer. 

“So Yuuri,” his sister started, “As you might have guessed from context clues Phichit is a pimp now.”

Alright, maybe he shouldn’t have sipped that beer cause now he was coughing it up. Mari gave him a few pats on the back as he recovered from not only the shocking news but the fact that there was more beer in his nose than air. 

“How would I get that from context clues.”

“I don’t know, at this point he seems very pimpy to me.” She said

“Hey!” Phichit looked confused whether he was insulted by this.

“Okay, okay, but what does this have to do with me?”

“Well, I kind of need you to pretend to work for Phichit?”

. . .

“Yuuri, you aren’t saying anything.”

“I’m taking it all in,” He took another swig of his beer. “And if I was to do this, what would I be doing.”

“. . Seducing a pirate? . “

Yuuri took one last long drink. 

________________

Yuuri loves his sister, so therefore here he is. Sitting in a crappy bar, in a far too revealing outfit, waiting to flirt with a deadly pirate. Probably a deadly one, honestly, Yuuri didn’t ask. The less he knew about this criminal with sea legs, the better.

What he did know is that he felt stupid. Phichit had taken his time making sure Yuuri looked the part. Yuuri had never worn tighter pants, and that is a feat for a dancer. His upper body was mostly covered by a black corset-like item with a small piece of silky black fabric draped over his hip. Phichit had told him this signified to passersby that ‘the goods were on sale’. 

It took some convincing, but Yuuri had gotten Phichit to agree to having something covering up his modesty under the corset. Yuuri, understood that he wasn’t supposed to be modest but he just felt silly with most of his upper body exposed. So the corset sat on top of a white poet shirt (loosely laced as a compromise). Finally Phichit took some kind of sticky goo and pushed back Yuuri’s hair, leaving his face without its normal comfort blanket. By the time he was finished even Yuuri had to admit, he looked good. 

Now the real work began, Yuuri stood at the bar of the tavern with some of his new peers. While Mari waited in the special rooms they saved for special guests just like this pirate apparently was. If he was being honest, Yuuri was nervous. This scheme was meticulously planned out, yet he just knew it had to go wrong somewhere. It just felt too…..covenant. 

Phichit had told them that he only sees Captain Nikivorfov at The Cove on Thursday afternoons. Luckily, Yuuri never needed to perform that day so he could be here waiting for the Captain. And, apparently, he had to walk by this tavern to get anywhere worth going. Phichit was also convinced that he could charm him inside simply because he believes himself to have ‘real flair’. Yuuri didn’t doubt this, his concern was what would happen once this pirate was in the Tavern with Yuuri. The plan was more extempore from there, Yuuri had to figure out how to be sexy fast. 

Yuuri rested his elbows onto the bar and let his face fall into his hands. The tavern was busy tonight, it was a little overwhelming in itself without the added stress of this whole situation. 

“Hey there beautiful,” Yuuri turned to see who was the slurring voice behind him. The man had shadowy facial hair covering his jaw line, a wandering eye, and what seemed to be a military uniform sloppily worn. 

“Are you talking to me, sailor?” Yuuri saw out of the corner of his eye some of Phichit’s girls giggling at the man. Or maybe they were giggling at him. There was no way to tell. 

“I sure am, darling.” The man got a little closer and reached his hand to grasp at the cloth draped over Yuuri’s hip. “I’d love to do more than talk. What do ya say, hm?”

Maybe Yuuri should have mentally prepared to be propositioned if he would be playing the role of a sex worker. This was a big part of the job he was pretending to have. Yet, Yuuri really did not imagine any scenarios besides the one Mari had described to him exactly. Meet the pirate, lure him into the backroom where Mari was waiting, get him drunk enough to let his guard down, then let Mari take over and do whatever she does. Seemed simple, seemed clean. However, there was a non-pirate man now touching him and Yuuri wasn’t very professional about it. 

“Oh, well I-I’m very expensive…” Yuuri’s blush was more hued than the cheap rouge Phichit had smeared on his cheeks. “I don’t think you could afford it.”

“How much, sweetheart” How much was sex usually worth?

“Fifty…”

“That’s nothing!”

“-thousand. Fifty thousand.” Phichit’s girls were now most definitely laughing at Yuuri. So was the drunk sailor for that matter. 

“Yeah, right sweetheart! Why don’t you give me the real cost after you show me the goods?” The man gripped onto Yuur’s arm, dead set on pulling him away to God knows where. 

Lucky for Yuuri, Phichit’s girls weren’t the only ones that took notice of his failure of a transaction. 

“I don’t think he is what you are looking for.” An authoritative voice makes the sailor stop in his path. 

A voice attached to a rather imposing figure. Tall, broad, with stylish silver hair; all wrapped up in an expensive looking waistcoat. He had placed himself right in the man's trajectory, instantly taking the sailor aback. 

“No?” The man looks shortly at Yuuri then back to the man. Seemingly sobering up while weighing a quick decision. “My mistake then.”

He stumbled away back to his table, but this new man stayed to watch him leave. Yuuri looked desperately around the tavern, he needed to talk strategy now. Phichit probably had minutes to explain the oldest profession to its newest participant. However, Yuuri was shocked to find Phichit, closer than he assumed. 

Phichit quickly shuffled over to the side of the man who had scared the sailor away. The man who had his eyes steadied on Yuuri. 

“Captain, I see you’ve met Yuuri. A good friend of mine.” Phichit looks slightly panicked, gesturing to Yuuri to communicate something important. While the gestures out of the man's sight were complex, the message was clear. This was the big scary pirate captain Yuuri has been waiting on.  
“Yuuri,” The Captain trys out on his lips. 

“And you are?” Yuuri tried to channel a more coy facade. Sultry would have to wait until Yuuri had a couple more drinks. 

“Victor Nikovfrov, but please call me Victor.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want the next part, tell me in the comments. Stay well, everybody!


End file.
